Mastering Internal Dialogue Pt.1
We are our biggest critic… and we’re also our greatest support system.
Internal Dialogue is something that we all have within ourselves everyday. It’s the commentary we have on our life, our day to day activities and our experiences. The more we’re aware of our thoughts, the more aware we are of how we’re navigating our reality.
Internal dialogue can be broken down into 3 components when living a conscious lifestyle:
- Conversations with your ego– This aspect of internal dialogue usually is based from emotions of fear, anger, stress and selfishness. The ego itself is not bad, our ego contains our physical identity. Our name, race, social standing, heritage and other parts of who we are on Earth. Because our Earth identity is found in our ego, so is the results of our trauma. Who we’ve become and believe we are based off of how our subconscious and unconscious stored our traumatic experiences manifest in the ego and ultimately reality. It is possible to develop a healthy ego, but we have to learn how to work with a higher vibrating aspect our ourselves, our higher self.
- Battles with your Subconscious- Subconscious thoughts are going to be more like a whisper, a little feeling that can stir up confusion, guilt or fear. These thoughts are a lot like computer programming. Hard-wired responses that have been developed in our mind from previous experiences, mostly from childhood. This can create irrational assumptions like “This person will hurt you because they’re being nice to you” then your ego (conjoined with your conscious mind which holds your logic and reasoning) tries to find something wrong with yourself or the person so that you can push them away. Or, it can also be something similar to “This situation is dangerous so it’s fulfilling” that small feeling of thrill that comes from doing something self destructive because you saw an authority figure abuse substances, themselves or you. The subconscious and unconscious can be reprogrammed… the most difficult part of that task is discovering that is actually being stored in there.
- Conversations with your Higher Self– These conversations will initially be more difficult to hear, receive and engage in. To speak with your higher self, you must first successfully “tame” your ego and understand the contents of your subconscious. Your higher self is an aspect of you that is a higher vibrating aspect of your consciousness which is also vastly unrestricted by this physical dimension. Your Higher Self will help to guide you, see past the immediate gratification of your decisions and your reactions. Your Higher Self will let you know exactly what needs to be done in the moment. Your Higher Self gives you wisdom. Once you begin to talk with your Divine Nature which is your higher form of consciousness, your thoughts will become more constructive and less destructive to yourself and others. You don’t need to be on a specific spiritual path to connect with your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is not a religion, it is a part of you.
How Do I Navigate This Dialogue?
Mastering the Ego
Your Ego is going to be a mirror of every bad memory, traumatic experience and horrible relationship you’ve experienced. Your unconscious stores this trauma and it stains the Ego on its way to its dormant holding place. The trauma has left a judgment on who you are and who you think you’re supposed to be. This isn’t all the Ego is comprised of but it does give the Ego false justification to run rampant. “I’ve been hurt so I can be selfish”, “I’m a bad bitch that’s why I cut people off with no notice”, “Everybody is out for themselves so I don’t need to be open”, “I’m a special exception to the rules (morality) because I have a valid reason for doing it” “I’m not good enough so why should I even try”. In reality, these statements provide a false perception that really fuels your weaknesses and keeps your trauma in place. These things are unreliable protective mechanisms created out of fear. The ego is all about survival, your ego is what anchors you in the 3rd dimension and its job is to keep you connected to the human condition. This is not bad, as you need to be able to function on Earth. It just needs to be balanced. When the Ego is scarred by trauma, survival mechanisms become imbalanced, cruel, power hungry, self destructive and self defeating. When you have thoughts fueled by selfishness, negativity, hate, self pity or anger… stop and ask yourself WHY you’re allowing your thoughts to go in that direction. Mastering the ego takes a lot of self-discipline. You’ll feel that your train of thought is valid in the moment, although you may regret it later. Resisting the urge to have decisions, reactions and trains of thought stem from pettiness, volatility and pity comes from developing your character. When we develop our character through having a healthy sense of pride, we won’t allow ourselves to stoop below a certain bar because we expect and desire better for ourselves.
Building character to master the Ego exercise:
- Write a list of characteristics you want to embody as a human. In order to remain objective, this list should also line up with what you feel line up with the characteristics of people you want to have in your life. Ex: Kind, Fair, Disciplined, Balanced. Honest, Open.
- Next write the characteristics you want to embody as an adult (if you’re 18+) or your appropriate age group i.e teen etc. Ex: Responsible, Reliable, Forthcoming etc
- Lastly, write the characteristics of what you want to embody as a man/woman (if applicable). Think about how you feel a man/woman should carry themselves in order to be attractive, respected etc. Ex: (woman) fierce, independent, open, loving mother, sexually empowered, selective etc, (man) emotionally open, high integrity, loyal, driven, provider, protector, faithful, selective etc.
Once you have your list written down, these are your standards for yourself. View this list as an internal moral code that you live by. These standards will help build your character and help to discipline your Ego. These standards will allow you to healthily shape your ego and develop a strong sense of self outside of your trauma. Whenever you make decisions, refer to your internal code.
Even when it feels difficult, stick to your code no matter how other people behave. If others act in ways that don’t align with how you want to govern yourself and your character, that has nothing to do with the standards you set and keep for yourself. Over time, denying unhealthy impulses to behave in ways that do not align with your internal code will put you in control of your Ego and your trauma will no longer fully dictate your current behavior. This will help you feel in more control over your life and will help you build self esteem.
Read on More Mastering the Ego here
Understanding the Subconscious
Your subconscious mind is the bridge between your conscious and unconscious. Your subconscious mind is not readily accessible and your emotions are created here. Your subconscious mind is going to be where the unconscious mind contents are filtered and deduced into learned behavior, belief systems, and interpretations of the world.You’ll also hold most of your memory here including everyday information thats committed to memory. Your subconscious is going create the emotions and responses that you have to everyday information you take in. Through self awareness, you can begin to reprogram your subconscious mind and the beliefs you hold within the subconscious. The weekly aura cleanse can help you remove mental clutter and increase your self awareness, which can make this process easier.
Understanding Your Subconscious Exercise
To understand yourself, means to also understand whats going on in your subconscious mind. When we live our everyday life, our subconscious creates tons of information about our surroundings, the people we’re around and our activities. The majority of this information is never brought into our conscious thoughts, though. Our goal is to gain more insight into our subconscious mind by using deductive reasoning. Follow these steps to build the skill to thoroughly understand your subconscious mind. This will allow you to be more clear on your emotions, behaviors and patterns.
- The first step is understanding your triggers. Whenever you feel anxious, sad or angry, get to the root of the past traumas or experiences that have created the belief systems fueling these emotions from your subconscious. Ex: You’re out in public and notice your leg shaking. Ask yourself “why am I nervous right now?” notice what your attention is drawn to in your environment. Then ask “why does ____ make me feel nervous?” allow yourself to recall any anxiety inducing events that have happened in the past which are similar to the situation you’re in now. After you do this, see if there are any unreasonable conclusions held in your subconscious mind that are creating unnecessary anxiety (or whatever emotion you’re analyzing) currently.
- Working through your triggers. Once you’re aware of your emotions and any beliefs that are creating issues for you currently, begin to deconstruct those belief systems. If you have a trauma creating self pity, self destruction, an inappropriate emotional response or self defeatism, notice when these behaviors are activated and begin to reflect on your emotional reasoning for the behaviors. Get to the root of why you feel the need to behave in a way which is consciously irrational. Once you understand your emotional reasoning along with the trauma which created reasoning in your subconscious, you can begin to deconstruct the belief system that fuels the emotional reason and consciously build and nurture a healthier, more conducive way of being.
- Creating the habit to understand your true intentions. After learning how to identify the major responses that stem from the subconscious mind, start becoming aware of the “everyday” instances. Understanding not only why you’re having a bad day, but why certain unhealthy states have become normalized for you. If you’re often in an irritable, sad, anxious or angry mood, get to the root of what belief system is creating the disposition for you by feeling out how the mood is a familiar space for you. We can often trace feelings of familiarity back to our childhood environments. Ex: If you grew up with an anxious mother, this could’ve created the belief that women are anxious or in order to be a mother, you have to be anxious. If you grew up with a parent who struggled with an addiction, it can create the belief that internal instability is normal. Once you understand your everyday “moods” you will be able to further your understanding of your subconscious and successfully change the direction of your thoughts and strengthen a productive, positive internal dialogue.
- Recognizing when an irrational, unhealthy or counterproductive response surfaces. We have years of programming to undo, so be patient with yourself. We’re not perfect, so we’ll have bad days. Continue to master your ego and get to the root of the subconscious programming driving your emotions. Whenever you have a “bad” moment, take some time to yourself to reflect before the situation escalates any further. When reflecting, implement the practices and knowledge above to take the first steps of ending the unhealthy cycles that created the response the situation brought out of you.
Mastering your internal dialogue requires accountability, patience and discipline. The hard work will pay off as our internal world determines how we navigate the world around us.